Chemistry between dudes
by azul renge
Summary: Refer to title.
1. Chapter 1

Ichigo is in the midst of regretting his academic decisions deeply.

It wasn't a pleasant feeling at all, knowing he's fucking up college. He was smart, he really was, but it's not his fault that he doesn't find anything interesting anymore.

All he ever does now a days is browse through social media and watch buzzfeed videos.

It's also regrettable that he could name twelve famous youtubers in his sleep but would not be able to recite his subject syllabus even at gun point.

Especially when Science came easier to him and he realizes with pity that he has taken his intelligence for granted and zoned out on months-worth of lessons.

College fees gone to waste, although he earned most of it during Highschool, his father would still beat him up beyond repair.

 _Ah, but aren't we all a little broken anyway?_

He really needs to stop following 9gag on Instagram immediately. Later he would stop it on Twitter and Facebook. Later, hoe.

He sighs, looking at his results paper with itchy eyes. His eyes were a lot itchy these days.

''Probably cuz you glare at your phone screen with lights off and it glares back at you.''

''Fuck off, Renji.'' He huffs, barely having enough patience as he wallows in self deprecation. Sixty percent.

That's the lowest he ever got. He passed everything, sure. But he barely managed to do it.

''You know what you need?'' Renji asks, whom Ichigo nearly ignores, until the man bumps his shoulder with him.

''What...'' He asks without interest, already thinking of ways to distract himself from reality.

''A tutor.'' Ichigo doesn't even bother to reply as he gets up, clumsily shoves his books inside, and quickly reversing any books he shoved upside down because he remembered his grandma telling him that disrespect towards books won't help him with the knowledge deities and fuck his compulsive behavior to hell, honestly. He doesn't believe in superstitions!

* * *

It's at night that he seats himself before his laptop. After wandering here and there, prolonging the inevitable, he bought himself cheese filled junk food and finally allowed himself to look at his syllabus.

Alright, he cracks his fingers. He starts to read a chapter in his five hundred pages book, thinking, 'Oh, this is actually easier than I thought,' but unfortunately stops after the third sentence.

He turns to Google, typing in, 'What the fucking fuck is a Zymogen'.

Okay, cool. He finds it's meaning after searching again (excluding the expletives, this time). So he moves on, quite frankly proud of himself. He has never been that great with Chemistry, but he was amazing with Biology, so BioChemistry should be a piece of cake, right? Right?

Wrong. It's not five minutes later, that Ichigo is grabbing his hair, pulling at it as he unlocks his jaw in a painful silent scream.

What was he doing with his life, what the fuck was this even about? He doesn't get it, he forgot his basics, and for the first time in his Eighteen year old life, he is terrified for his academics.

He begins considering the tutor idea and lays down, heart beating quick and unsteady. He was on caffeine, for heaven's sake, he couldn't just go to sleep either!

And fuck his life, he has a class at seven.

* * *

''You look...''

''Like shit?''

''Like you woke up in a dumpster after taking Molly. But you never had molly, and never will. Know why? Cuz you are a _pussy_ who doesn't get out of his room and fangirls over youtubers.''

Ichigo sits down in the seat across Renji in the cafeteria. ''You don't want me doing drugs, Renji.''

''I will smack you to hell and back if you did.'' He says seriously. But Ichigo gets it. His friend doesn't want him to keep spending time with lifeless and harmful technology and get out more and interact with people.

''People are assholes.'' Ichigo looks away, mumbling, ''And, you said something about a...tutor?''

Renji grins, his short bangs falling into his eyes.

''Don't even start, I will shove a spoon up your ass.'' Ichigo warns.

''Okay, alright.'' He says, leaning back, his flashy leather jacket squeaking against the plastic chair, ''I have a friend, who has a friend, and this friend is at the top of your grade.''

Ichigo frowns. ''Why would the top student want to waste his time to help some kid? He would want to spend it studying instead.''

Renji looks away slowly, thoughtful, before a small smile takes over his face and Ichigo gets unpleasant chills.

''Let's just say that he owes me one.'' He looks back at Ichigo immediately. ''And he's somewhat a genius, so he will be able to help you easily. Don't think too much.''

''Am not...'' Ichigo says.

This whole deal is a bit suspicious to him.

* * *

It's two days later, after his classes ended on a warm Thursday afternoon, that Renji manages to catch Ichigo with his thumb hovering over the download button for Pokémon go.

''Don't do it, it's a Black hole. Dude honestly, it's like you have no control.''

''I'm an addict, Renji.'' Renji sighs, frowning, looking a bit worried.

''Look, your tutor's schedule is free until tonight, I told him I'd introduce you guys so you can get on with it. Come on.''

Ichigo shoves his phone into his backpack and follows Renji despite not really wanting to. At this point, Ichigo was desperate to increase his knowledge after his late night ''study'' session, and the painful discovery of his non-existent knowledge.

Renji leads Ichigo to the library. 'Seriously?', he thinks. He hasn't been to this place in, truth be told, ever. His library record was completely empty.

''Come on.'' Renji beckons Ichigo deeper into the maze like building, and they finally reach their destination after crossing the Ecology, Mythology, Marine Biology, and Astrophysics sections.

''Here we are.'' Renji mutters to the empty chairs and desks scattered over, looking terribly unused in the BioChemistry section.

He finds a bit of solace in the fact that none of his classmates are interested in their education either, apparently.

''Strange...'' Ichigo hears, ''He said he'd be here...''

Ichigo shrugs and plops down in one chair, throwing his bag in another. He buries his hands in his hoodie pockets after pulling the hood over his head.

A silent ding is heard and Renji utters a quick, ''Hey, I need to get going, you stay here.''

Ichigo grunts uninterested, and closes his eyes. He really has to change his habits and sleep earlier.

He seems to be very tired, as he unknowingly drifts off.

* * *

Ichigo is woken up instantly when he hears the soft screech of a chair being dragged out. He rubs his blurry eyes groggily and looks up at the stranger seated across the table.

He has seen him before, he doesn't know his name, but Ichigo has definitely seen him before.

''Are you...supposed to be the person who agreed to...tutor me?'' He asks, a bit out of it. He never imagined that a day would come when he talks to the man in front of him.

''Yeah.'' The man says, almost lazy, ''It's Grimmjow.''

''Ichigo.'' He says in reply, ''Hey, I don't mean to be rude, I'm grateful you are doing this, but no one's forcing you to do this.''

Grimmjow raises one eyebrow. ''Let's just get on with it, yeah?''

Ichigo nods after a moment, not expecting such an attitude. Grimmjow looks like a cold, asshole at first glance, but he doesn't want to form an impression on his tutor.

They aren't going to become friends, Ichigo had decided this even before he met the guy.

He opens his books, lines highlighted in desperation right before his precious examination. He looks at Grimmjow who leans forward a bit to glance at his notes.

''These are...doodles.'' He mutters low. Ichigo wants to shut his book right then. He doubts Grimmjow would be able to understand the significance behind his art.

(And neither does Ichigo himself.)

''Alright...so, what do you need help with?''

''Yeah...about that.'' Ichigo cant bring himself to smile, despite feeling pretty sheepish.

''Yes?''

''Everything.''

* * *

Ichigo falls down on his bed with a mild headache. Grimmjow was baffled, although he didn't show it, Ichigo could tell by the twitch in his eye.

But despite this, Grimmjow managed to explain the entire chapter on Proteins in just under two hours. And Ichigo actually understood the concept pretty easily, he was precise, thankfully.

He thinks about thanking Renji for the suggestion. Ichigo feels just a bit hopeful towards studying now.

And he should thank Grimmjow too, after this whole ordeal.

He does wonder why the guy agreed to do it in the first place, he did seem unenthusiastic about it, not that he could blame him, Ichigo would be too if asked such a favor.

He picks up his phone, avoiding going through Twitter and checks his massages. He sees that Renji sent him a message right then.

 _ **''There's a party at Gin's. You're coming.''**_

No. He wasn't going.

He takes off his pants and lazily pulls his comforter up till his chin and types a reply.

 ** _''Fuck no.''_**


	2. Chapter 2

Ichigo sighs heavily, and sits straighter, but it hurts as his shoulders try to fit into their natural position. His hand hurts, and he throws his phone onto his bed.

He takes off his shirt in the bathroom and throws on a gray hoodie. He gets under the comforter after turning off the lights and tries to push the thoughts of loneliness aside.

It's one or two am and the darkness behind his eyelids does nothing to distract him from the emptiness he feels.

He thinks of watching a funny youtube video until he feels drowsy, but that would take away his sleeping time, and he wouldn't be able to concentrate in class.

It's not as if he was interested in what he studied either, sure, if someone sat him down, he would listen, but only because that would take his mind away from how pathetic he feels at the present.

It might add something to his stagnant life, he thinks- hopes, maybe.

His body is tense as he shifts around in bed.

It's so horrible that the darkest of thoughts invade his mind and jeer at his life, right before everything fades away.

* * *

''I want to go home!'' Some girl says right when Ichigo enters the room for his first class, and he can't help but agree.

He sits down and is momentarily blinded by the Sun shining in his face through the window.

''Like, the fuck? Chill.'' He mumbles under his breath, thoroughly regretting his seating choices.

His phone vibrates in his pocket and he takes it out and reads Renji's message insisting that he attends this part with him at some Gin person's house.

He thinks even the cockroaches in his apartment weren't as persistent as his friend was, who messages him about this thing every couple hours.

Ichigo decides not to reply any longer, and leaves the message at 'seen', then promptly mutes Renji.

A few murmurs are heard around the room and Ichigo had ignored his surroundings before he made the revolutionary decision to pay attention in class, so now he looks towards the entrance and sees Grimmjow coming in.

He never realized Grimmjow gained this much attention before.

As he walks up the steps, his blue locks ruffled over his forehead as if he had come straight from bed, his swollen cheeks betraying him by playing witness, he glances up briefly and their eyes meet.

 _Awkward._

Ichigo finds the eye-contact so awkward, that the hairs on his arms raise in protest, and he looks away instantly.

As a silently established rule, Ichigo and Grimmjow do not communicate aside from the subject matter that is in their syllabus. No physical contact and No eye contact.

They don't talk to each other once they cross the Biochemistry section of the University Library.

And this works _splendidly._

* * *

Ichigo is sitting in the cafeteria, engrossed in watching a dance cover on Youtube.

''Thank God it's Friday!'' He hears Renji say and looks up. ''It's Friday?'' He asks, then looks at the day on his phone before Renji can reply.

Renji rolls his eyes before dragging his chair nearer to Ichigo and looks up with big, hopeful eyes.

''So-''

''I muted you on my phone for a reason.'' Ichigo says before Renji even begins.

Renji looks incredulous. ''No way...'' He whispers.

''Yes way. Now, shoo. Don't interrupt me with nonsense. I'm not going. Don't ask me again.''

And Renji knew how stubborn his friend can be and pats himself for at least trying, but still cusses out an, ''Asshole.'' then looks away with a scowl.

* * *

Ichigo decides he can't take it anymore.

He gets up and shuts of his phone. Once the screen is completely black, he takes out an old shoe-box and puts the lifeless device in it and shoves it into a deep corner in his closet.

He stands there, feeling more emotional than he'd ever admit.

'I feel like my life is being sucked away.' He thinks but never says it out loud, in fear that it will become more serious of an issue than he wants it to be.

Renji is probably at that party, and he has no other friends.

And this is the moment where he is both craving for human contact yet wants to be left alone.

''Ice cream.'' He says. ''I should treat myself to ice cream.''

* * *

Ichigo gets a chocolate bar with a Vanilla filling. He likes to think he eats with a method to it, making sure not a single bite is wasted and he finds himself chuckling lowly to himself when the remaining chocolate almost slips off the bar and he bends his body to steady it.

There's soda and other weird candy in the plastic hand hanging from the wrist of the hand which his buried in the pocket of his sweatpants.

It's nice to just stroll around, he decides. The night air was cool, and there weren't many vehicles.

And since he rarely comes out, he feels like he is on a mini adventure.

Ichigo takes the long way home, and while he walks, he hears noise coming from one of the houses nearby. Must be a party, he thinks

There's a small park just up ahead and when he passes by, he witnesses a very unexpected sight.

Grimmjow is squatting on the ground with two hands clutching at his hair and pulling, his eyes tightly shut and groaning.

He stands there contemplating, his tutor was obviously dressed up for some kind of party, wearing a leather jacket, with gelled up hair, and clearly, he was piss ass drunk.

He must have friends, surely, who would come looking for him and take care of him.

As he turns reluctantly, but with determination not to get himself involved, he hears another very _pained_ groan from the other man, voice cracking like he was going through puberty all over again.

And he probably was, ''Motherfucker.'' Ichigo says and groans, which harmonizes with another one of Grimmjow's moans and he turns back.

He walks very slowly towards Grimmjow, hoping for a miracle that someone would come to take care of the guy but nothing happens.

He carefully squats in front of Grimmjow and gingerly places a hand on his shoulder, ''Hey, you okay?''

Grimmjow looks up, wincing at Ichigo's volume but the latter isn't apologetic at all.

His eyes are bloodshot and his chapped lips indicate how dehydrated he is and Ichigo couldn't imagine the painful amount of alcohol that was pumping through the man's veins at the moment.

''Dude,'' he whispers, shaking Grimmjow slightly to make him pay attention, ''If you throw up on me, I will literally bury you.''

Grimmjow looks confused. Ichigo grabs Grimmjow's arms and tries to pull him up. ''Fuck, you're one of those muscle freaks! Fuck!'' He curses some more as Grimmjow barely budges.

He heaves a sigh and bites his lips in thought until an idea strikes him and he searches around his plastic bag for a chocolate lollipop and waves it in front of Grimmjow's face.

He coos softly, carefully, ''Here, get up, and you can have it.''

Grimmjow appears to have sobered up a tiny bit and he frowns slowly, and Ichigo wonders how confused he must be, but then the guy surprises him with a groggy, ''I'm not...a dog...''

Ichigo snorts, ''I wish you were, this would be a lot easier then.'' And Grimmjow frowns even more.

''Come on,'' Ichigo says and grabs Grimmjow's hands this time, and it's all very uncoordinated, their hands don't fit well, Grimmjow doesn't hold onto his hands, but latter finally gets up, making Ichigo huff.

He leads the man to the swings and makes him sit. Grimmjow wobbles in his place.

''Boy, are you drunk...'' Ichigo says and thinks about a plan of action.

His phone is at home. He could only call Renji even if he had it with him. Eventually, he decides.

''Hey, Grimmjow, mind if I use your phone?''

Grimmjow frowns, but stays silent. ''Where's your phone?'' He tries.

He stares and finally, his gaze drops to the ground.

Ichigo sighs and walks forward. He leans over Grimmjow and his hand reaches into Grimmjow's back pocket and grabs his phone.

When he goes to stand straight, Grimmjow grabs his wrist and tugs him forward. ''What...?'' He says, looking at the phone then at Ichigo with wide and shockingly blue eyes.

Ichigo frowns, ''I need to call your friends.''

Grimmjor relaxes at that, his eyes cloudy and he slumps. Ichigo doesn't know what to make of this. He goes to the call logs after seeing that he doesn't have a password and calls the most frequently called number.

Another guy answers the phone, sounding a bit drunk as well, and then Ichigo tells him about the situation and the location. The man curses on the line and asks him to wait.

Ichigo sits down on the adjacent swing and swings back and forth.

What a tiresome night. He looks over at Grimmjow who is staring down at the ground, half-asleep and he nudges his leg with his foot.

''Hey, why did you drink so much?''

He doesn't get an answer, as expected.

In just under two minutes, Grimmjow's friend comes to take him away, eyes sharp and sober. He takes Grimmjow's phone and thanks him curtly.

Then Ichigo is walking home again, guilt free.


	3. Chapter 3

''Do you have dreams?'' The male lead asks the female lead, his eyes pools of emotion.

'' _Yes, yes_ , I dreamed of headless chickens running around in a burning building.'' Ichigo mocks in a boneless tone.

Renji groans from where he is sprawled across his couch. ''Please, stop it, please, my head hurts.''

Ichigo laughs loudly, humorless, but he is still somewhat amused. A severe case of everyday sadism, he thinks.

''Who told you to get a hangover?'' He asks, not facing Renji and eyes fixed on the TV playing some Romantic melodrama.

Renji groans again, then gasps in pain, ''It's college, Ichi.''

Ichigo just hums, eyes wide when the scene unfolds into more drama and the female lead breaks down and falls to her knees, her pretty blushed cheeks wet with tears.

''It amazes me sometimes,'' Renji says slowly, ''How you manage to get yourself so indulged in whatever you do.''

Ichigo frowns, ignoring his friend completely at the turn of events in the movie.

''If only you had a goal to put that focus into.''

And this time, Ichigo does hear it, and does consider it, and it does pain him. But he ignores his friend.

* * *

Later, when he walking home, he looks up at the Sunday Sun in annoyance, shielding his eyes.

''Headless chickens, Renji.'' He mutters to himself uselessly.

* * *

Monday comes, the start of the week, otherwise known as Doomsday by students in distress all around the globe.

Ichigo notes that Grimmjow doesn't look much better, and his demeanor looks more gruff and irritated, face all scrunched up like dry paper.

Grimmjow doesn't even spare a glance towards Ichigo and the latter doubts that the other even remembered what happened Friday night, owing to how gone he was, and he was very content in keeping it that way.

Their professor takes her class, and Ichigo tries his best to concentrate, taking notes and remembering to write down any questions he has, because there are still some topics that Grimmjow has yet to discuss with him, and he decides to look them up later, or bring them up to his tutor Thursday evening.

He counts down the minutes, and with Ten minutes remaining, the professor ends her class and he sags in his seat, relieved.

It doesn't last long though, because the woman starts to say something and Ichigo sits rod straight when he catches the words, 'Project' and 'partners'.

''It's due next month. I will require you to make a video presentation as well, pairs in two. Meet me after Lunch and I will give a topic for each pair...''

Ichigo curses in his mind, he doesn't have any friends here. He doesn't want to work with someone who doesn't want to do any work, but Eighty percent of his class constituted of such human beings who practiced the art of assholery on an hourly basis.

He groans, why does the world hate on him?

His gaze lands on Grimmjow then, amidst all the chatter in the room, who is sitting still, his hood up over his head.

With no better choice, he gets up, and climbs down the steps, telling himself to relax, that this doesn't mean anything, he just needs a capable partner who wouldn't slack off, and Grimmjow is the only person in class he has at the least spoken to, and trusts on an academic level.

He stops beside Grimmjow's seat, making him look up.

'Oh wow, that is Incredible.' Ichigo thinks as he looks at the painful looking blood shot eyes. _Did he pop a vein or something?_

''Hey,'' He greets, his volume soft, he feels sorry enough that his douchebag qualities give in for once, ''Wanna be my project partner?''

Grimmjow takes a look around the class, some girls staring at him in what they thought was a discreet manner, others already partnering up, as if he were weighing his options. And Ichigo doesn't blame him.

''Sure.'' He says eventually.

Ichigo rocks on his heels, ''Okay.'' He says.

* * *

The topic they are given is on Enzyme Assay. They are given a month to finish the assignment.

It takes a few minutes for him to realize that he was frowning so he relaxes his expression and looks up at Grimmjow, who raises one eyebrow in question.

''I, yeah. What are we going to do?'' He asks the man and Grimmjow looks outside the window of the staff room hallways and simply shrugs, evidently uninterested.

''We'll work it out.'' He answers dryly.

* * *

''Nel loves Itsugo!'' His cousin screams in his ears for the hundredth time in just under that hour.

''Yes, yes, now please be quiet.''

Nel whines petulantly, ''Tell Nel you love her!''

Ichigo squats down in front of the second grader and and clicks his tongue, then he ruffles her hair lovingly, ''I love you, Nel.''

Nel shrieks, cheeks rosy red, the blush spreads to her ears and neck.

Ichigo nearly coos, but he simply stands up and takes her hand, asking if she wants to be carried but she huffs adorably and tells him she isn't a baby.

Ichigo holds in the chuckle that threatens to come out of his mouth and squeezes her hand. Nel's mother, his aunt, had asked him to pick her up from school as she was busy at work unfortunately, and Ichigo's classes had ended very early so he agreed easily.

Nel looks terribly excited to see his big brother after months and Ichigo feels terribly contended because of her obvious affection towards him.

''Nel, do you want to eat something?'' He asks as he walks them towards Nel's home, Ichigo leaning down towards her to match her height.

''Ummm...'' she ponders, before her face brightens and she smiles, showcasing her missing teeth, ''I want pudding!''

''Okay,'' he replies, ''And?''

''And?'' She blinks, then pouts, ''And um...And, I want juice! And candy. I want coconut candy, Itsu-nii.''

Ichigo nods, ''Okay.'' and then he bends down, lower than Nel, ''Come on, on my shoulders, it will be more fun.''

Nel shrieks in joy.

* * *

When they reach a convenience store, because Nel insisted that the her brand of Coconut candies were sold ' _only there Itsugo, only there, hurry before they run out!_ ' And Ichigo had speed walked, because although he swam a bit in high school didn't mean he was particularly agile on land, especially with a child perched on his shoulders.

Nel directed Ichigo towards whatever she wanted and he carried her there like his life depended on it. It was the most fun he was having since that night he went to buy himself ice cream.

He laughs at the urgency in the child's voice and suddenly, they are doing a skit where he is a knight and Nel is the princess.

''Yes, princess,'' he says, feigning seriousness, ''Anything else you desire?''

Nel hums, ''What's 'desire'?'' She asks with child-like innocence.

Ichigo laughs, ''It means wish.''

''Ohhh.'' Nel hums in understanding, ''I want Itsugo to play with me _everyday!_ ''

''Sure.'' he replies, smiling, bending down to get Nel on her feet, with a carefulness he never knew he possessed (The cracked screen of his phone bears witness) and leads her to the register.

When they are out, Nel leads him to a play park, and he accompanies her to all the rides, childishly pumping his fists up in the air when he beats some random kid in a one on one basketball match.

It's later, after about an hour, that when Nel's eyes begin to droop and she makes grabby hands at him, that he picks her up in his arms.

The Sun is setting and he walks towards his aunt's house with her sleeping in her arms, head lolling on his shoulder.

* * *

They are passing by the same convenience store they shopped at when Ichigo notices someone familiar.

He's quite good looking, sitting on the hood of his car with his head leaning down.

Some high school girls passing by point their fingers at him and whisper, cheeks flushed and eyes wide with sparkling curiosity.

Grimmjow brings a lit cigarette to his lips. And for the first time, Ichigo's cheeks become hot.

Ichigo shakes his head no, and he reminds himself of Friday night, of when Grimmjow was stupid and drunk beyond hope, of when he couldn't understand human language.

But he watches, as he had stopped walking a few moments ago, as smoke is exhaled out through the other man's nose, twirling and twisting in the air around him before it diffuses completely.

It gives a false sense of life to him, a movement to what appears to be Grimmjow's still existence.

Or maybe it was Ichigo who was being influenced by his own mind, unpassionate in every second that he lives, and projecting it onto his views of the world.

Grimmjow's head tilts then, and then he is staring right at Ichigo.

Their eyes meet, and Ichigo is reminded of every Thursday evening, when Grimmjow tutors him because he has to, for some mysterious reason, and of this afternoon, how disinterested Grimmjow was in participating in their project together.

Not that Ichigo was particularly thrilled himself. But even when Grimmjow was drunk, his shockingly blue eyes were still colorless, lifeless.

Ichigo looks away, and starts walking, unable to think anymore of this without promising himself an unwanted headache.


	4. Chapter 4

The most fucked up thing about this situation wasn't him abandoning Haikyuu to get stuck in this shit hole, well, that comes to a very close second, but he must have destroyed a country in his past life to watch Renji sucking another dude's face.

He could have honestly died without bearing witness to this _C grade porno wannabe_ , but hell, he'd think it's weird if his days weren't fucked up.

He turns around and heads to the kitchen in the frat house, grimacing and barricading his body against the swarm of horny motherfuckers in the frat house, which, he decides, is worse than he'd imagined or seen in any movies before.

Renji had called him an hour earlier in drunken slurs, threatening to expose his anime list on his Twitter, _he has fucking 3k followers what the fuck-_ if he didn't come and take him home, because, ''I honestly think if we were Veep, I'd be Selina and I would _kill_ to have you as my Gary. Come and get me, I'm so drunk.''

After several failed attempts at finding the address to the _worst bat shit frat house_ in the entire country, he ended up inside only to find Renji in the midst of a gross ritual of hooking up.

He just wants to watch Haikyuu, he misses Hinata already.

But the idea of getting drunk now is not so bad and Ichigo figures, why not? Because his eyes caught sight of all the alcohol sitting on the kitchen counter when he was searching, and sure, Ichigo doesn't drink usually, he was too busy with his academics now (ha, never thought he'd say that), and the rest of the free time that he gets, he spends it on the internet.

Right now though, after a week packed with of exams and an unhealthy pattern of stress inhibited sleep, he wants to get drunk.

* * *

Half an hour later has Ichigo with a cup full of something he doesn't know what. He knows it's alcohol, his mind is hazy.

He never liked alcohol. He doesn't know how people like doing this; it made his mouth bitter and his mind lose coherency. Especially in public, when he isn't aware of what spills from his lips and into the ears of absolute strangers.

He scans his eyes across the crowd, not spotting Renji, and he sighs, something buzzy in his head distorting the shitty EDM playing in the background.

Just when he lifts up his cup to take another sip, something bumps into him, and he watches as the cup inclines without control and the somewhat cold liquid drenches his t shirt immediately.

''What the fuck-''

''Hey, you should watch where you're going.'' And Ichigo knows that the heat that travels through his body at that statement is definitely not from the alcohol.

He tries to glare up, but the guy towers over him with a shitty smirk on his lips and Ichigo thinks he wouldn't mind making the guy _bleed_.

''Be careful,'' he says, shoulder bumping against Ichigo's as he passes by, ''Or you might get seriously hurt.''

Ichigo turns around, dropping the cup to the ground as he tries to find the guy in the crowd. He is absolutely pissed off. Generally, he wouldn't lose his cool so quickly as he knows how people can be. It must be the alcohol, but all he wants to do right now is sock the guy in the face.

As Ichigo moves further into the back, he ends up behind the glass sliding doors leading to the backyard.

It shouldn't matter to him, but Ichigo sees Grimmjow sitting at the pool alone, and he's sliding the door open.

* * *

It's cold. It's so fucking cold and Ichigo honestly believes today is going to see his death. And pray, he has yet to finish Haikyuu.

His wet t shirt sticks to his chest and his teeth clatter when a gust of wind passes by him. The tiled floor near the pool is wet, it's October, for fuck's sake, who even needs a filled pool?

But Grimmjow has his legs submerged in the water with a beer bottle next to him, and deliriously, Ichigo thinks the water must be warm.

He walks next to Grimmjow, and takes off his shoes, the other glances up at him for a brief second before resuming staring off into nothing, or whatever it is he finds so interesting about the night sky even darker with rain clouds, but hey, who was he to judge? He watches nail polish videos sometimes just because he likes the before and after.

He nearly slips on the wet tiles but slowly seats himself down a few feet away, his pants getting wet as a result and he groans, cold, cold, cold. It's so cold.

With quickened breaths, he dips his feet into the water and screams, ''Holy _fuck_ -'' Grimmjow's eyes fall on him and Ichigo stares back with a frantic look in his wide eyes, hands clutching his shirt at his chest, shivering even more with every muscle in his body tense, '' _What the fuck_ , how are you- _Why_ are you sitting here with your legs in cold water? You will die!"

Grimmjow raises one eyebrow, ''It's not that cold.'' He responds, much calmer than Ichigo.

Ichigo gapes, ''Dude, this is the water Jack died in. You are gon-gonn-" he sneezes, ''Gonna die-''

''Then go inside. I'm fine here.''

Ichigo breathes heavily through his mouth, and glances back at the house, and somehow, it looks worse inside.

He can't stop the displeased frown that furrows his brow due to his unfavorable situation.

In the end, he reaches a decision. ''Gimme your booze.''

'' _Excuse_ me?''

''I'm asking you to give me your booze.''

Grimmjow looks thoroughly offended, attacked, even, '' _Why?_ ''

''It will warm me up.''

''Get your own.''

''Why do you have to be a baby about it? We are acquaintances,'' Grimmjow gives him a look, ''Kind of, you can share your booze with me.''

Grimmjow doesn't relent and he sighs, ''Please, I'm so cold, just gimme your booze.'' He's not sincere about his request, and he knows Grimmjow knows it too but the other man takes his beer bottle and passes it to Ichigo anyway.

''OhmyGod,'' he groans, gulping down half the bottle, ''It tastes like shit, but it feels so much better,'' He catches Grimmjow scrunching up his face and merely shrugs, ''Thanks, though.''

Grimmjow doesn't respond and Ichigo passes the bottle back.

* * *

This continues for a few minutes, until the bottle is empty and Ichigo is slowly moving towards Grimmjow until there's only about two feet of space between them.

He looks towards the sky, his mind feels like there's little sparks going off in his brain and the silence is almost an unbearable weight at this point. He never realized what a lightweight he was.

''Hey, Grimmjow, what are you thinking about?''

Grimmjow doesn't respond. So Ichigo continues, ''Do you ever wonder if the Earth is really round?''

To this, he feels the other man's gaze fall to the side of his head, so he turns to meet it with his own, ''Like,'' he says, ''Have you ever been to outer space? The theory makes sense, but what if it's all a lie?''

He knows the alcohol is making him loose mouthed, these are thoughts that are too silly even to Renji, even to Yuzu who listens to everything he has to say, he knows this, so he doesn't say them, but he wants to now, and he wants someone to hear.

''What if it is a lie?'' Grimmjow says and Ichigo blinks in confusion, ''What if it is a lie, how does it matter to you?''

Ichigo licks his dry lips, unconsciously shivering, pulling his wet shirt away from his chest, ''Don't you want to know the truth?''

Grimmjow appears to consider this for a moment before he replies, swinging his legs in the water for a brief moment, ''Is knowing the truth important to you?''

Ichigo doesn't answer, and slowly, Grimmjow asks, ''Does knowing something like that give you happiness?''

Ichigo frowns softly, ''Maybe. It's satisfying.'' He looks up at Grimmjow, ''It feels real.''

Grimmjow's eyes are so bright, Ichigo thinks, it's the first time looking at them so closely, and he thinks look so sharp and intelligent, like he knows everything Ichigo doesn't, ''I don't know what you're talking about.'' And Ichigo knows Grimmjow's lying.

''Then what gives you happiness?'' Ichigo asks, and his teeth chatter a bit, chest in pain. He's so cold, but he wants to hear.

Their eyes meet yet again, a conversation of their own.

Grimmjow says, ''Happiness is overrated, Ichigo.''

* * *

Ichigo sniffs harshly, his fingers are kind of cramping. It's gotten to a point where it's too cold for him to stay there, so he gets up, making Grimmjow look up at him.

''I- too cold.'' He says, fingers pulling his wet shirt away from his chest, teeth chattering.

Grimmjow looks him over, and the water splashes when he pulls his legs out to stand up.

''Why is your shirt wet?'' He asks, ''Come inside, I can get you a new shirt.''

Ichigo follows, but he slips, his hand catching onto Grimmjow and nearly taking him down with him. Both of them cuss like sailors.

''Some-some asshole bumped into me-'' He says, hands circling around his biceps for warmth.

Grimmjow says something along the lines of dumb, and Ichigo scowls with a, ''Fucking heard that.''

* * *

It's warmer in the house and Ichigo feels himself relax already. Grimmjow disappears somewhere right away and Ichigo wanders into the kitchen again.

There aren't many people still here, and most of them present are slumped down or passed out like they have lost everything.

''Gary!'' He hears a familiar voice call out to him then and turns to see Renji walking up to him.

''You're still here?'' He asks, kind of irritated when he remembers he's the reason why Ichigo ended up here in the first place.

Renji looks a bit more sober, but he still reeks of alcohol. His short red hair is damp with sweat, and Ichigo wishes he feels hot enough to sweat as well.

''Uh, yeah. So what happened is,'' he laughs drunkenly, leans forward and pushes all his weight onto Ichigo. Renji was a touchy drunk, ''-wait, are you shivering?'' He frowns, words slurring together.

But the frown is still there, the one he has been seeing since they were children. Renji was only five months older than he was, but he always had this animal kind of instinct where he wouldn't hesitate to do anything to play the overbearing mother to Ichigo.

He quickly takes off his sweatshirt and forces Ichigo to take his own shirt off, quickly pulling down his own clothing down Ichigo's head, leaving Renji in his long sleeved shirt.

''You idiot!'' He flicks his forehead and if Ichigo weren't drunk and slow, he would flick back twice, ''Fucking idiot. Always.''

Ichigo nearly groans, but he turns around and grabs a beer bottle from the kitchen counter, making the bad decision to get more drunk.

''Anyway, I met this guy-'' And Ichigo blocks him out. He doesn't need this information.

But then Renji is catching a hold of Ichigo's wrist and dragging him somewhere.

''Stop, where are you taking-''

''Oh, Grimmjow!''

Grimmjow stops in his tracks, a shirt in his hand and Ichigo sees a frown form on Grimmjow's face for the first time.

''Renji.'' The words are uttered with such venom that has Ichigo curious. Weren't they friends?

But Renji is relentlessly happy, ''We are gonna play a game, wanna come with?'' He asks but his other hand circles around Grimmjow's wrist and he's dragging them both into the living room.

* * *

 **I'm so sorry, I have been very busy. This chapter was a bit difficult to put out as well, but here you are!**


	5. Chapter 5

Hello. I have writers block. Eek. I'm sorry for making you wait, honestly I was stress writing this, and the story board was being designed based on my mood, which is why it lacks balance. I may re-write this actually, and I apologize to the people who have been anticipating an update.

It may have to start from scratch, I haven't planned anything yet, I just have the vague plot idea I had at the beginning of this. So, yes. See you soon, hopefully. I will give you a heads-up if I see this getting anywhere. Thank you.


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